Feel Free to Pass By!

My Poems

By: Erin

My Poems are written by me, first for me

Where my thoughts can just be

Pouring out of my head

So they don’t weigh me down instead

My Poems are not meant to be perfect for me or for you

They are a tool that helps me get through

They release the anxiety and pressure within

And calm me down when my world beings to spin

My poems are written by me, first for me

To help me understand and see

What the heck is happening in and around me

They strengthen my soul

They remind me I’m whole

They help me conquer my desire to control

I share what I write, with those I love and beyond

Because the more I share, discuss, and work to change

People so graciously respond

With similar stories, experiences or ways they can relate

So we join in discussion – to fend off the misunderstanding and hate

My poems are not to bother anyone you see

They are simply my favorite way to “just be”

I don’t ask that you like them, read them, or share them too

I just ask that you respect them as something I do

If your issues with my writing is too much to stand

Then simple move on to something you like better and understand

My poems are written as quickly as the thoughts come into my head

In an effort to prevent them from weighing my heart down instead

They are not perfect, neither am I

If you really dislike it, feel free to pass by! 

FIGHT "it", not you.

Change it - NOT you.

By: Erin

My perfectionism has been full blown today

I've been cleaning house in every way

And now that I sit my head starts to scream

"Look in the mirror - You should not have had that bowl of ice cream."

Tears quickly form because thoughts of being unwanted and incapable fill my brain

But I choose if I let these thoughts remain

I could engage in my behaviors in an effort manage these thoughts

But they instead they would multiply lots lots lots

I must choose something different something new

how about trying to change the "it" hurting me - so I can be true

I cover my mirrors for I am vulnerable right now by sight

Then I tell myself truth with all of my might

"My eating disorder does not own me."

"I can handle this tonight."

"My eating disorder does not own me."

"At the end of this tunnel there will be light"

"My eating disorder does not own me."

"I Erin Casey am all right"

"My eating disorder does not own me."

"By God's Strength I will WIN this fight."

Sometimes minutes

Sometimes hours

Sometimes seemingly forever....

I mentally battle and fight

But it is true that when I fight to change "it" and not myself I learn to be true

Sometimes that's terrifying to me

But I do it anyway because there is so much light to look to

One truth I can tell you to fight your "it" is this:

Your "it" does not own you. That I can guarantee.

Give fighting a try - you'll see

  

Exhaustion

Exhaustion

By: Erin

I never could tell when I was tired

Because I never allowed myself to say no

I need to be perfect - that was required

So after a while you forget how you feel and what you know

But this weekend exhausted me

It was go go go

not a lot of time to relax and just be

I felt temptation from both above and below

But I now have tools, the language and knowledge of recovery

It may be hard but I know what I need even so

Exhaustion is a huge trigger of mine

Especially when I keep going saying "I'm fine."

But recognizing my symptoms, then taking action too

Keeps me healthy; it's true

I've learned that I can only truly shine

when I'm not faking it, and I'm actually doing fine

Exhaustion is a body's way of saying:

"It's time to take a break"

"Listen up! Your health is at stake!"

"If you keep going like this - you'll decline quickly too"

"Just take a break, rest up, and you'll be good as new!"

I loved feeling how body my handled things in recent days

And thinking about all my old unhealthy ways 

Though sometimes incredibly tempting here and there

I'll always choose to rest when needed --

rather than ignore my exhaustion and end up in despair

 

So Much Is Changing

So Much is Changing

By: Erin

People are Moving

Goals are being Achieved

Passions are being Pursued

So Much is changing

It’s easy to be scared

Cry over past moments shared

Convince yourself you are not prepared

For what is to come

It is easy to revert to what is old

For me those are patterns of what once was controlled 

Desperately trying to fit some mold

Or warm my heart from the depressed cold

But I am not old; I am new

So much is changing; it is true I am too

I am scared yes, but exhilarated at this new view

There is so much I have loved, and for that I thank you

It’s incredible to look change in the face, and know you can do it, get through

The possibilities don’t end – there is so much to pursue

People are moving

Goals are being achieved

Passions are being pursued

So Much Is Changing

Look at this view