Cut in two.

The Split

By: Erin

  

There are two very distinct parts of me right now

My brain, mind and intellectual side

Then too my touchy, feeling, emotional part too

Currently these parts of me are distinct 

I truly wish they were more linked

But somewhere down the line they separated in two

And this changes how I act and what I do

This may sound strange, but to me it finally makes sense

I can better understand some of why things have been so intense

My mind likes to force my emotions into a box

Then proceeds to bind it in chains with locks 

Until

A disruption occurs and the chains are broken free

My emotions take over to a scary and alarming degree

I then spin into crisis unable to handle the feeling

All of which I have kept myself from dealing

While before my mind took control so that I could be the “best” I could be

And others would see

There is worth inside of me

But now I am left cut in two

And I have to learn what to do

Because I want my mind and my heart to be connected in some way

To add more life, stability, and love to my day

I’ve run from this truth for a little while

But I’m ready to face it, head on (sometimes with a smile)

But once again this process never really finishes or comes to an end

But I hope it takes my two halves and begins to mend

My mind and my heart together

So, I may begin to feel a little better

Dedicated to:  

S & T – For the difficult but caring conversation with me when this realization first surfaced

A & N – The two people that are working hard to help me recognize when and how I am separating myself – even when I don’t want to

 

Anyone need a hug?

A Hug

By: Erin

A Hug

Makes my cold body warm

And calms my heart during a storm

A Hug

Silences the screaming thoughts in my head

Speaks words that cannot be said

A Hug

Adds love and joy to moments of thrill

It’s perfect for celebrating after climbing a hill

A Hug

Reminds me that through life I walk not alone

As I am held, muscle and bone

A Hug

Transfers energy from one person to the next

It is amazing to see its positive effects

Hugs help me on this journey and path

But remember it takes at least two to hug

Do the math

A Hug

Is the perfect example of our need for each other

For we are all sister and brother

A Hug

Demonstrates the power of a team

Especially when it feels we are walking upstream

A Hug

Symbolizes how we were built for community and love

That’s how He wanted it – the big guy above

A Hug

Relaxes the soul so we know it will be okay

Without there even being words to say

A Hug

Goes a million miles to

Heal the pain

Ease the strain

Release the blame

Remove the shame

Say I love you

Help us to get through

But most of all

Break down the wall

That keeps me from knowing you

After all

 We are both beautiful

That is true

Sometimes We Cannot Sleep

Long Lost Sleep

By: Erin

You know those nights where sleep slips away?

And your mind floats this, that, and the other way…

Yeah – not my favorite time of day

The dark seems darker

The cold seems colder

The scary seems scarier

And all you can think is:

“Okay, now it’s time to go to sleep.”

You even try counting sheep

But you do this to no avail

And we all hate to fail

Especially when it’s something we need

In order to function and succeed

But some nights it slips away gone

And some nights it comes off and on

Which is frustrating to no end

Because our minds make the darkness grow and extend

During this time when we are awake

When it blissful sleep for which we ache