What Happened Tonight.

I chose darkness tonight

By: Erin

Remember being little and picturing the little people on your shoulders?

One representing good and one representing evil?

That concept never really stops being true, even as we grow older

Tonight I made a choice to gratify the dark sitting on my shoulder

Like so many other times the darkness felt as heavy as a boulder

Weighing heavy in my heart and heavy in my mind

Convincing me that darkness was the way I was defined

Paralyzed by my own emotions, past, fear, shortcomings, and trauma

I laid in bed, silently crying wanting to held by my mamma

Not knowing when this would stop, ease up or break the pain

I felt like I was burning inside and going insane

I had thoughts I did not want

Memories that continued to haunt

Temptations that kept running through my brain fast

By my own self I felt harassed

Sitting alone unsure of what to do

I made the decision to take my pain and cut my skin through

I feel shame, guilt, and embarrassment too

Because light is what I want to pursue

The darkness within me jumped for joy

As though everything had worked, their secret ploy

And I delved deeper into myself as the tears began to fall

Then made the choice to use my voice to tell my roommate it all

Worry walked across her face

Nervous energy and fear filled this place

She loved on me and hugged on me

"Its ok, but let me check it, I need to see"

I hesitantly showed my hips one of which said “No”

I was embarrassed for her to see, and for me to show

But having her know reminded me this is smaller than who I am

I am stronger than the darkness’ great scam

For as a daughter of light I seek after goodness and joy

Laughter, perseverance, and love are things I employ

As tonight proves I will not be perfect as I walk this journey and trail

But until I give up and turn back, there is no way I can fail

Tonight I chose something dark

And on my skin I left a mark

But I am not defined by that moment of pain

Or the terrible thoughts in my brain

Right now I choose light

By getting rid of my shame, my embarrassment and fear

And share with you what happened during this particular fight

For I can never undo what I did tonight

But when there is darkness, light is always near

Becoming Less Like Me!

Less like Me

By: Erin 

Each year since I was young

Ash Wednesday would quickly come

And I would think and think about which food I would deprive myself of

Convincing myself it was to please the big guy above

But not this Lenten Journey

I’m going to prepare my heart to tame my tongue

To sing praise

In many different ways

I’m going to prepare my heart to tame my tongue

To build others up and make them feel their worth

The worth they were given even before their birth

I’m going to prepare my heart to tame my tongue

To speak kind words about myself inside and out

The negative talk is something I could do without

I’m going to prepare my heart to tame my tongue

To foster light instead of the night we so often find

Because that is why we are here, as this season will remind

To do this, I will add a special time of prayer

For these things I did just share

To do this, I will write verses on my hand

To remind me of this journey when life does not go as planned

To do this, I will have people remind me when I forget

Very kindly of course, so there is no threat

I’m excited for this Lenten season

For this very reason:

It’s about becoming more like Christ and less like me

And that is how I want to be