What Matters to You?

What Matters?

By: Erin

Today was a big day

In each and every way

Love was celebrated

Hope was demonstrated

Friends were appreciated

God was praised for what he has created

And in my heart was fear

Fear of everything unclear

Everything I could not understand

Both the small and the grand 

But -- what matters?

What moments will I share with those around?

Which things will I remember with love and astound?

What matters?

Every day is a big day 

We only get one “today” each day

And we will have both the good and the bad

We will have both the happy and the sad

But what do you want to give weight to?

What do you want to pursue?

What matters?

What matters to you?

I want to control Everything.

Itching for Control

By: Erin

Itching 

Seems a good word to describe my current feeling

More and more control would be the most appealing

I can feel it by way of my thoughts

I can feel it by way of temptations too

I can feel it by urges pulsing through

I know people see this inside of me and think

“She’s annoying, anal, and strange or needs a drink…”

I wish I could make it go away

For I know it sometimes prevents me from the healthy way

The itching is intense from time to time and day to day

And manifests itself in different ways

It is almost painful the need to feel like something is within my control

As though feeling in control will make me feel 'complete' and 'whole'

I don’t want this to be my fate for the rest of my days

And I know I can continue to change my ways

But it is super hard with all of this itching and pain

Especially when “Just control this and all will be good” sits in my brain

I guess it is another fight

I’m sure a deeper issue I’ve avoided with my might

And awareness sheds light

So maybe there can be an end to this loooonnngggg night