Judging Myself...

Judging Myself

By: Erin

The past few days I have been judging myself in every way I can

You’re treatment is taking too long

There must be something wrong with you

Other people notice it too

Moments like these make me want to do something reckless

Who cares – what is the point anyway

You heard that woman say:

She was in therapy for one and a half years

Yours will never end or so it appears

Yeah you’ve made strides in the recent months and weeks

But isn’t life without treatment what I seek

Why would I need it for so many years

When it seems so different for my peers

I feel embarrassment and shame

I feel awkward and lame

Why is this what they say I need?

When I want right now to give it up and proceed

Without the extra professional support

And try it on my own or something of the sort

So many emotions

Weird feelings too

But I do know what I will do

I’m going to follow this treatment plan

I never want to return to where I began

So I will swallow my pride

Continue with on this journey for however long it takes

For what we’re talking about has really high stakes

I will do my best to not compare with those I see

And try my best to focus on what is actually best for me

This is hard.

 

Something we all must know.

We must all know

By: Erin

Yesterday an old friend shared something hard

My heart went out to her pain and struggle

But I knew I did not understand

I have not walked this walk she’s been on

Where she has felt trampled upon

I cannot understand the exact beating her heart has endured

Or really understand the ways it’s shaped her and matured

Everyone is trying to get by in their own way

Desperately trying to get through the day

So we cannot understand the ins and outs

Of everyone’s emotions, fears, pain, and doubts

Because we cannot truly walk in their shoes

Or understand each and every bruise

But you can walk beside them as they travel

Remind them they are not alone if they fall in the gravel

If you don’t know where someone has been before

Recognize that their life, struggles and pains are different than yours

Grab their hand

Say: “You know, I don’t understand”

“But I care a lot about you”

“I want you to know and believe that is true”

“You are not alone in this storm”

“I will hug you if you need something warm”

No person will ever understand our lives in every single way

But that does not mean we’re alone each day

Love.