Change it - NOT you.
By: Erin
My perfectionism has been full blown today
I've been cleaning house in every way
And now that I sit my head starts to scream
"Look in the mirror - You should not have had that bowl of ice cream."
Tears quickly form because thoughts of being unwanted and incapable fill my brain
But I choose if I let these thoughts remain
I could engage in my behaviors in an effort manage these thoughts
But they instead they would multiply lots lots lots
I must choose something different something new
how about trying to change the "it" hurting me - so I can be true
I cover my mirrors for I am vulnerable right now by sight
Then I tell myself truth with all of my might
"My eating disorder does not own me."
"I can handle this tonight."
"My eating disorder does not own me."
"At the end of this tunnel there will be light"
"My eating disorder does not own me."
"I Erin Casey am all right"
"My eating disorder does not own me."
"By God's Strength I will WIN this fight."
Sometimes minutes
Sometimes hours
Sometimes seemingly forever....
I mentally battle and fight
But it is true that when I fight to change "it" and not myself I learn to be true
Sometimes that's terrifying to me
But I do it anyway because there is so much light to look to
One truth I can tell you to fight your "it" is this:
Your "it" does not own you. That I can guarantee.
Give fighting a try - you'll see
