Community

Community

By: Erin

I have experiences from time to time

Where I end up sharing some part of my story

With people who first share with me

Where they have traveled on their own journey

Today a woman shared with me the hurt and fear she felt overcome by

I replied with I have hurts and pains, you’re not alone, God will supply

I shared with her where I had been

For her daughter seems to be in a similar situation I was in

Tears began to roll down her face

And all the sudden I wanted to run from that place

Pain sat in my stomach, my chest, and my heart

I choked back tears…. Refusing to let them start

The pain in that moment came from understanding the extent to with people hurt on this earth

Physical pain, relational struggle, to not understanding our worth

My ability to relate to this woman’s fear, hurt and pain

Led me to pray: 

“God help us feel love, and help comfort be attained

We are broken

Hurting

Terrified too

Just bring us closer to You”

That woman and her story affected me tonight

We all have a story, a journey we’ve walked, a fear in our hearts

Sometimes we’re just trying to hold together our parts

Jesus came to bind, heal, and free 

We’re called to follow Him, I love you, and you love me

We often want to run in the face of discomfort and pain

But how is that living out the Gospel even when there is no hope of gain?

We are to weep with those who weep

We are to rejoice with those who rejoice

Because we are not called to walk, journey, hurt, love, celebrate alone

God calls us to live in community, to know and be known

Patience is a virtue....right?

Patience

By: Erin

We all want things we don’t have

Well, I want patience

Maybe I was born with this deficiency

Maybe I developed it somewhere along the way

But typically I want things “right now – here in this moment – as good as yesterday”

Recovery is teaching me this virtue and trait

Often times saying to me:

“Erin, it’ will come, you’ll get there, you just have to wait.”

Now to give you a picture as to what this feels like in my heart

In that moment I fill with fear, as though I will break a part

“What if it never comes today, or any day at all?”

“What if while I’m waiting I just continue to fall?”

I struggle with patience in all areas of life you see

But recovery is the most difficult because of everything that is at stake, including me

I think it comes from fear

Lack of trust too

If I can get it now

It won’t be able to escape somehow

But recovery, like so many other things is a process

That comes slowly but surely too 

So sometimes, as much as it sucks we just have to grit our teeth and walk through

Walk through the anxiety of not knowing

Walk through the pain of waiting to be better

Walk through the burning to desire to get this done

And realize that…

Even if this journey has just begun

It is worth it

Even if you’ve been walking for years

It is worth it

Even if you keep tripping and falling

It is worth it

Patience is hard, scary, frustrating and anxiety ridden as well

But we must try to develop that simple yet profound trait in order to continue on and excel

Patience