Dealing with food is still one of my biggest challenges.
From trips to the grocery store, going out to dinner, meal plans, and days when my thoughts just won't calm down -- food is something I need to tackle... and I'm still learning new ways, and what works for me everyday. Here is where I'm going to share that with you all -- in hopes that if you struggle or if you know someone who does... it might help:)
Pray before you eat. Sometimes I sit down and want nothing more than to push the plate in front of me away or my new favorite thing to do "postpone it" ..... indefinitely. But that's not acceptable. Our bodies need the food to survive, so that we can live our lives whether it be as students, in our careers, as members of a family, or part of a community -- we have things to do... and we need the fuel. Well, God graciously provided us with that. For me taking that time to pray before I eat halts my eating disorder screaming in my head. Sometimes all I say is: "Thank you God for providing this food, please help me through this right now... In Jesus name Amen." Other times I can get other things out. But that moment definitely helps me face the food, and my fears.
- Make a meal plan -- I don't stick to a meal plan 100% everyday anymore because I don't need to every day... some days I'm fine going with the flow and just making sure I meet my "non-negotiable" 3 meals per day. But on days when I feel bad thoughts in my brain, I have extra stressors, or I'm just feeling low my meal plan is essential -- it takes the "thinking" out of eating and keeps me from entering dangerous water.
- Find out what you actually LIKE to eat. I think a lot of people with eating disorders can relate to this... and actually just a lot of people you eat mindlessly too. We don't really pay attention to our likes and dislikes (especially when binging and restricting) a few weeks ago I started a list in my recovery book called "foods I liked" -- the first thing I was able to identify to put on there was good apples... other things I've added since then have been Stir-fry Cinnamon Life Cereal and Godiva Chocolate... Now I have even more foods on that list. That may not seem like a lot to some people, but to me it's a really big accomplishment. These are foods that I know I like the taste of... and the control is taken away from my eating disorder! I actually get to enjoy them:)
- Make a grocery list -- I HATE the grocery store. One of my least favorite places... but we all have to venture in there eventually. So make a list. Know what you are going to buy -- and stick to it. Also going with someone helps. I cannot tell you the number of times I've gone in and come out with nothing but anxiety OR gone in a come out with fifty dollars worth of juice. This is stressful for me, and a lot of people with eating disorders... make a list, take support.... YOU CAN DO IT.
- Keep it simple -- When you are not feeling 100% and it's a tough day, don't try to triumph the world by eating the most complicated/difficult/challenging food ever. Yes challenging foods are good to incorporate into our diet -- BUT when you're struggling -- it's okay to go with foods you know you can handle when you know you will be faced with extra stress!
When out to eat with people I often try to learn from others, in the sense that I order what is similar to others choices and I also pace myself with others -- because behaviors out to eat are harder for me. I also try to focus more on the conversation than the food.
- Paying attention to my hunger helps me a lot too. I do this by using the hunger discovery scale before and after I eat. It's simple to do. Before I eat I ask myself: from a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being SUPER hungry and 10 being SUPER full) how hungry am I? Then I ask the same question after I finish eating. I have ranges that I try to stay in. This helps me to be aware of my body - something that I struggle with, and prevents urges to binge and purge a lot of the time.
Dealing with a SLIP.I actually don't even want to write this -- I'd rather pretend that this was not part of recovery (at least that is where I am right now). But the unfortunate truth is that we're going to have "Slips" these are moments when our eating disorder behavior slips in despite our best efforts. It will happen, it does suck, it is frustrating, you'll most likely feel defeated (I know that's how I feel) BUT staying in that place does me nothing good. I had a "slip" a little while ago -- and I was upset... VERY UPSET. But, after talking with people I realized that, that one moment meant nothing in the grand scheme of my recovery. And even more important I was able to learn from it. I journaled (after I stopped freaking out), and tried to figure out what caused the slip in the first place. The truth is I slip a lot. It's not always with food stuff -- sometimes its in other areas of recovery, but recovery WILL never be perfect (and that's a problem for us perfectionists). I didn't start counting days again -- but I took extra care of myself, I told the people I needed to tell, and I moved on. Slips happen. You can be upset, but you have to move on.
Post-Slip Taking care of you suggestions:
---- hot bath with candles
----- encouraging music
---- Jesus Time
---- FUNNY movie/TV show with friends
---- reading favorite books (Harry Potter is a personal favorite)
---- make a bracelet that says something like "believe" -- I wear one everyday.
--- Hot tea and a pedicure
THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS!!!!!
*Set an alarm*
Lately it seems I've been really good at "forgetting" to eat.... by the time I "remember" it's too close to another meal.... what a dilemma! Well I'm not up for allowing my eating disorder creep in like this -- so my phone now has alarms set for meal times. [kind of strange I know] but it's been helping -- because ED has been working hard to get to me "forget".
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