Manipulation at its best.

Manipulate

By: Erin

People know that I like control

People know I like to feel empowered

People know I like to feel accomplished

People know I am goal oriented

People know I am driven

Let me tell you what people don’t know.

I manipulate my own body language, speech, presentation

Careful to show anything but my internal frustration

I have a switch that I can turn on at most any time I need

To show others that I have the capability to succeed

But I’ve learned something, or maybe come to a grand realization

My ability to take myself to hide behind my own manipulation

Has done nothing but hurt me in every way shape or form

Preventing me from getting help in the midst of a storm

So I’m becoming aware of this, more authentic to my own heart

Most of us know that realizing the problem is the very start

I know I’ve lived my life this way

Which is hard for me to say today

Because I value authenticity, real people, emotions too

So I guess I must admit I manipulate myself to hide from and impress you

But it has been hurting me I’ve realized – that I can clearly see

And on this journey to make myself whole, to make myself free

I must become aware, be gentle, and change that mold

Because honestly I was never REALLY controlled

Just showing the world one part of me, while hiding the other out of sight

But the truth is I am me, the same person in dark and in light

And I will respect the whole, entire me that I am today

Even if it would be easier to manipulate my image and hide parts of me away