Empty Inside

Empty

By: Erin

Emptiness is one of my biggest fears

But it’s something that has followed me for many years

Dancing, in the end left me empty

Idolizing people leaves me empty

Putting my worth in my grades leaves me empty

Seeking to be the best just leave me even more empty

Empty

Empty to Hallow

Hallow to Lonely

Lonely to Sad

Sad to Empty

…again

I have attempted to fill the hole in every way, shape and form

In an attempt to turn my empty coldness into something warm

Only those that knew me best

Saw the emptiness where my heart should be in my chest

They saw it in my eyes

Straight through my smile and happy disguise

Emptiness is painful penetrating my being in every way

I’ve come to learn that all I can do is pray

Christ can fill the hole that sits in my chest

And

The more I grow to know Him

The more I grow to know who I am in Him

The more I grow to recover from my illness

The more I learn to love myself in stillness

As the painful emptiness fades away

I actually sometimes experience an honest good day

Filled with emotions sometimes good sometimes rough

But as far as being empty – it’s much worse than feeling stuff