Judging Myself
By: Erin
The past few days I have been judging myself in every way I
can
You’re treatment is taking too long
There must be something wrong with you
Other people notice it too
Moments like these make me want to do something reckless
Who cares – what is the point anyway
You heard that woman say:
She was in therapy for one and a half years
Yours will never end or so it appears
Yeah you’ve made strides in the recent months and weeks
But isn’t life without treatment what I seek
Why would I need it for so many years
When it seems so different for my peers
I feel embarrassment and shame
I feel awkward and lame
Why is this what they say I need?
When I want right now to give it up and proceed
Without the extra professional support
And try it on my own or something of the sort
So many emotions
Weird feelings too
But I do know what I will do
I’m going to follow this treatment plan
I never want to return to where I began
So I will swallow my pride
Continue with on this journey for however long it takes
For what we’re talking about has really high stakes
I will do my best to not compare with those I see
And try my best to focus on what is actually best for me
This is hard.
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