Patience is a virtue....right?

Patience

By: Erin

We all want things we don’t have

Well, I want patience

Maybe I was born with this deficiency

Maybe I developed it somewhere along the way

But typically I want things “right now – here in this moment – as good as yesterday”

Recovery is teaching me this virtue and trait

Often times saying to me:

“Erin, it’ will come, you’ll get there, you just have to wait.”

Now to give you a picture as to what this feels like in my heart

In that moment I fill with fear, as though I will break a part

“What if it never comes today, or any day at all?”

“What if while I’m waiting I just continue to fall?”

I struggle with patience in all areas of life you see

But recovery is the most difficult because of everything that is at stake, including me

I think it comes from fear

Lack of trust too

If I can get it now

It won’t be able to escape somehow

But recovery, like so many other things is a process

That comes slowly but surely too 

So sometimes, as much as it sucks we just have to grit our teeth and walk through

Walk through the anxiety of not knowing

Walk through the pain of waiting to be better

Walk through the burning to desire to get this done

And realize that…

Even if this journey has just begun

It is worth it

Even if you’ve been walking for years

It is worth it

Even if you keep tripping and falling

It is worth it

Patience is hard, scary, frustrating and anxiety ridden as well

But we must try to develop that simple yet profound trait in order to continue on and excel

Patience