Changing Thought Patterns

Redirection

By: Erin 

I remember the day I started dancing

I was little and really we were jumping and prancing

But I also wanted to be in swimming

And do an art club too

My whole life I’ve always wanted to be better than you

It’s not that I don’t like you; I actually want to be your friend

I’m just super insecure sitting in my skin

I’m driven by this horrible dictator inside my head pushing me to win

I want to be everything and more than what is possible to be

And that way everyone will see all of that stuff instead of me

I hate admitting this it’s embarrassing and is so unattractive

But all people really see is my ability to be proactive

Which is actually destructive to my very soul

Because I’m on this quest to make myself whole

And I’m getting mixed signals and messages all the time

Like me getting less than an ‘A’ is a crime

I get that my former being was obsessed with the desire to impress

But now I am much more concerned for my health to progress

I still get in modes where I want to be the best at everything and more

Obsessed like it would actually give me a key to Heaven’s secret door

But you and I both know nothing of the sort is real

For it is before Christ we must kneel

And He is the one I must work for

For he alone loves me down to the core

I’m still tempted to try to be better than you

But most of the time I’d rather work together to get through

Life is not a competition to see who wins at the end

No it is a time to walk, do work, and spend time with you, my friend

It will all be done one day or night

When Jesus comes to end the fight

So I’m going to stop focusing on doing everything and more

But rather loving people straight down to their core