Darkness or Light

In My Weakness

By: Erin 

I feel dead inside right now

Alone and awkward in my skin

Wanting to run away from everything

The doctor asks “what hurts?”

I reply: “what doesn’t?”

Today waking up was painful

Sitting up was painful

Swallowing my fistful of medication was painful

Showering was painful

Dressing was painful

Breakfast was painful

And so was every second there after

In excruciating pain my temptations surfaced

To Cut

To Purge

To Overdose

To Restrict

To Run Away

But

I will not

I will not because those actions will only ensure the pain to come again

It will gratify the darkness to return more confident that before

Tempting me to give up on me, on light, on health, on joy, and on Jesus

And that I will not do

Not today

For in my brain even in the midst of the excruciating pain

I know this to be true:

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ESV