uncomfortable.

Separation anxiety

By: Erin 

As I walk further from my illness

I feel distant from the self I used to know

I lack understanding of what will come

I struggle to reach for and feel security

ED and I were once two peas in a pod

He came where I went

I went where he told me to go

At the time, it would have seemed like he was my god.

Bipolar Disorder and I got along from time to time

On highs I would be intense and productive

Bipolar made me a leader, smart, dedicated too

Unfortunately all of that would quickly change on the flip of a dime

On days like today

When I feel tired of working on recovery

When I feel frustrated that in some ways this will never really end

When I feel tempted to return to the other part of my ‘pod’

When I long for the intensity and productivity and impulsivity too

I must remember that separation from illness will lead me

To the long sought after self-discovery

  To a place where I can actually become my own friend

To a time where I won’t need my façade

To a week where the days are not as hard to get through

And finally

To a person that is not bound by an ‘ED’ or Bipolar, no but to a person that is free to be me

and you to be whoever you want yourself to be too